Chapter Seven

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#003333" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="041d4c00dduajq.png"> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="0" WIDTH="95" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 46 WIDTH="91"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="46" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="91" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <div>          Crossing the</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Nebula </div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="1" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="159" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 33 WIDTH="71"><div> Chapter Eight</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> -- Coming</div> <div> Soon</div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 33 WIDTH="71"><div> <A HREF="id52.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter Six"><U><IMG SRC="07320180.png" border=0 width="32" height="24" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="71"><div> Previous Page</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 33 WIDTH="71"><div> <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Table of Contents"><U><IMG SRC="07320180.png" border=0 width="32" height="24" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="71"><div> Table of Contents</div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#003333" FACE="Arial" ><B>Crossing the Nebula</B></FONT>     |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Crossing the Nebula"><U>home</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id21.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter One"><U>Chapter One</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id22.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter Two "><U>Chapter Two </U></A>   |   <A HREF="id23.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter Three"><U>Chapter Three</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id24.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter Four"><U>Chapter Four</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id45.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter Five"><U>Chapter Five</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id52.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter Six"><U>Chapter Six</U></A>   |   <B>Chapter Seven</B>   |   <A HREF="id54.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter Eight"><U>Chapter Eight</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id50.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Art of Seduction"><U>The Art of Seduction</U></A></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="110644b0.jpg" border=0 width="100" height="75" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Chapter Seven</div> <div> By Trekscribe</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Seven was sitting with a couple of Rene' friends, Ensign First Class Barbara Lang and Lt. Benz Calloway. Benz and Barb were startled to find the Captain suddenly appear in front of them. They stood to greet her as she made her way to their table. At first, Kathryn hardly noticed the two officers. The Captain was a woman on a mission. All she could see, all she wanted to see was Seven.  </div> <bR> <div> A few pleasantries were exchanged; the typical things casual acquaintances say when they haven't seen each other for a while. The Captain liked Lang and Calloway and normally she wouldn't have minded their idle banter but…. she wasn't in the mood for any more of it tonight. Not tonight, when the only thing she desperately wanted to do was talk to Seven… <I>alone</I>. </div> <bR> <div> “Seven,” The Captain smiled, “I'm glad I <I>finally</I> made it over here! It's so crowded I had to fight my way though!” Kathryn hoped her voice didn't betray the how anxious she was.   </div> <bR> <div> Seven looked up at the Captain, the last person she expected or <I>wanted</I> to see right now. She anticipated that she would have more time to think about her situation concerning the Captain before she talked to her again. Kathryn rarely initiated their meetings, yet tonight the Captain was here.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> ***</div> <bR> <div> Earlier today in the mess hall, while Seven absently stirred her nutritional supplement, B'Elanna spun a tale of deceit that would have been <I>mildly</I> fascinating if Seven weren't a major protagonist. The Captain's actions these last few days were simple enough; at least simple for B'Elanna to decipher. Kathryn was playing Seven for a fool.  It was “obvious” that the Captain was seeing Maxwell and keeping Seven around “on the side” just in case her relationship with Maxwell doesn't work. </div> <bR> <div> “How could it possibly work?” B'Elanna surmised, “It's Maxwell, enough said.” </div> <bR> <div> B'Elanna was the only person Seven knew who had a serious relationship, it might not be the best, in Seven's opinion, but at least it existed. </div> <bR> <div> “You shouldn't go out of your way to be with the Captain any more. After all wasn't she the one who told you the other day, while you were helping her dress, I might add, that you should start thinking about romantic relationships? You told me the way she looked at you when she said it left no question in your mind she meant you and her. So, she's playing some weird game and I wouldn't play along if I were you. Let the Captain ask you out for a change, instead of you chasing after her all the time.” B'Elanna wasn't one to mince words. </div> <bR> <div> In reality, Seven had only helped Kathryn find one of her Captain pips that had rolled under a desk, then Seven fastened it on her collar. That could hardly be called dressing her, but Seven didn't deem the point important enough to contradict.  </div> <bR> <div> “And if she doesn't, `ask me out'?” Seven thought this prospect was a <I>very</I> important point to mull over.  </div> <bR> <div> “Well then,” B'Elanna paused for the dramatically effect, “Consider yourself lucky.” </div> <bR> <div> Seven wondered if B'Elanna could so easily walk away from someone she loved. She didn't think B'Elanna would do it. So why was B'Elanna telling her to choose such a difficult option? Seven started to doubt her judgment about the Captain's true feelings for her. <I>Again</I>. </div> <bR> <div> Could she have been wrong all along, had she really misinterpreted how the Captain felt about her? <I>No.</I></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> ****</div> <bR> <div> “Are you all right Seven? You seem rather quiet tonight.” Kathryn touched her lightly on the shoulder.<I> I think she doesn't want to talk to me. But she has to! I didn't even think about the possibility that she wouldn't. </I></div> <bR> <div> The Captain's persistence in trying to draw her into a conversation snapped Seven back to reality.</div> <bR> <div> <I>Why was Kathryn here? Probably looking for Lt. Maxwell. </I></div> <bR> <div> She wondered if Kathryn was going to display her affections for Maxwell again.<I> </I>There was no way she would stay and watch that spectacle. Twice was <I>more </I>than enough.  She felt a pang of anger invade her. Strong emotions still felt alien to her even after being away from the Collective so long. She was shocked at how forcefully her temper tried to over power her.</div> <bR> <div> The anger was a painful reminder of the harmony and tranquility she'd lost. The anger made her feel alone. She longed sometimes for the nothingness that she was no longer a part of; surrounded by a million thoughts, a million memories, a million voices. There would always be a part of her that missed the Collective.</div> <bR> <div> Yes, she wanted to be more human, because…that is what Kathryn wanted…but…she was Borg, she was proud of her ability to hold unwanted thoughts and feelings at bay.  She compartmentalized the feelings, the distracting thoughts, and they extinguished quickly. She was successful, <I>except</I> when it came to Kathryn. Thoughts about Kathryn had a life force, a will of their own that Seven could not resist or control no matter how hard she tried. </div> <bR> <div> Seven stood to leave. <I>I would not want to disrupt their plans for the evening.</I> </div> <bR> <div> Well, that wasn't true. She <I>did </I>want to disrupt their plans. She wanted to grab the Captain and make her listen, make Kathryn hear how badly she'd hurt her. Maybe, the Captain would change her mind; maybe she would want to be with her again, not the bizarre Lt Maxwell.</div> <bR> <div> The Captain must have felt something for her at one point, it wasn't maternal and it wasn't friendship, she knew better than that. She'd done her research--she'd read the so-called romance books the Doctor had given her. Although the stories had all been about love between men and women, the way the couples initially fell in love seemed no different than how the Captain's and her feelings had blossomed. All the signs were there; Kathryn was, until recently, genuinely enthusiastic about being with her. The way the Captain looked at her sometimes and touched her caused Seven to have thoughts that were definitely not innocent.  </div> <bR> <div> Even now, the Captain was looking at her in a way that could only be described as love. That look made this situation all the more confusing and impossible. She needed to leave before she said something the Captain would regret in front of these two people who although Lt. Maxwell's friends, are unexpectedly pleasant and intelligent. </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> ***</div> <bR> <div> A swell of silence floated in the air between the four of them. Only the loud music and the roar of the crowd, which seemed to have expanded if that could be possible, dare challenged the awkward lull in the conversation. </div> <bR> <div> Barb noticed that it wasn't just Seven who was quiet now; the Captain wasn't particularly interested in chatting anymore either. Grabbing Benz's arm, Barb said, “Let's mingle a little, Lt. Calloway.” </div> <bR> <div> She addressed the Captain,  “I hope you don't mind if we leave you and Seven, Captain. I see Jenny and Megan Delaney over by the pool table. Last time I talked with them was two weeks ago, I'm anxious to hear what they've been up to.” Barb pulled Benz along with her. </div> <bR> <div> The Captain nodded a look of appreciation Barb's way. She'd have to apologize to both of them later; she must have appeared a bit standoffish. But she couldn't help it. </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> ***</div> <bR> <div> “Really Barb!” Benz protested, “You're pulling me along like a little schnauzer anxious to get home to her favorite toy.”  Benz laughed, as they walked away. “<I>Must</I> we go see the twins? I worked all week with those two rerouting some circuits on deck nine and I'm all caught up with their goings and comings, well…. caught up with their comings anyway. Where do they find the time for all their maneuverings?” </div> <bR> <div> He glanced back to see the Captain and Seven having what looked like the beginnings of an animated conversation then turned his attention to Ensign Lang. “I wonder if the Captain knows there's a Mozart recital this Saturday. Neelix forgot to put the notice in the newsletter, drat him! What good is his little rag if he can't even keep it up to date? The gnome!”</div> <bR> <div> “Neelix does the best he can.” Barb absently defended. She liked Neelix and even enjoyed his cooking, <I>occasionally</I>.  <FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#333399" FACE="Arial" >.  </FONT>Barb said softly so only Benz could hear, “You can send the Captain a message about the recital later. She doesn't care about that <I>now</I>, anyway. Can't you see they want to be alone?  The Captain was <I>glad</I> we left.” </div> <bR> <div> “Really? They want to be alone?? Whatever for?”</div> <bR> <div> “You're really clueless sometimes! Allow me to elucidate.” She said with the exaggerated air of importance a pompous college professor might inflict on a green freshman. “Birds do it, bees do it.”</div> <bR> <div> “Huh? Oh My! You can't mean THAT.” His lips curled into a devilish grin. “Sure, I've heard the rumors about the Captain and Seven, but I never believed them, the Captain is above such nonsense. She's not some fawny, doe-eyed schoolgirl. She has better things to do with her time.  There are so many factors to keep a pulse on when you're a Starfleet captain; personnel, operations, alien affairs, supplies, objectives, directives, I could go on and on. I wouldn't want her preoccupied with frivolous thoughts like whether she's going to get `her groove on' tonight.” </div> <bR> <div> “Be serious,” Barb huffed. “She shouldn't be working and thinking about those things 24 hours a day. It's not healthy. You wouldn't want to live that way, why impose it on her?” Benz was Barb's best friend but she found him odd at times.  “I happen to like the idea of her having a relationship with someone. Seven seems very nice. And if my intuition serves me, maybe the Captain is finally coming back to the world of the living.”</div> <bR> <div> “Yes, Seven is a delight, so blunt with her questions, so astute in her observations about the program, the holograms and earth culture as a whole. It was a pleasure to get to know her better,” Benz agreed.  “<I>But, </I>she's hardly who I'd picture the Captain ending up with. I envision the Captain with someone artistically creative. Not unlike myself.  I'm not into women generally but…there are certainly a couple on Voyager I might like to `shag' if the circumstances were right and the Captain is one. You, of course my dear, are the other.” Benz smirked at Barb and gave her a friendly one armed hug. </div> <bR> <div> “As far as being with me, I know you're just dazzled by my acting skills and stage presence.” She winked then chided him. “I should have known your Captain celibacy decree was all about you!” </div> <bR> <div> “Of course, darlin' it's <I>always</I> all about me, who else should it be?” He laughed and squeezed her hand. “At least Seven isn't Starfleet-I would <I>definitely</I> have a problem if the Captain dated a crewmember.”</div> <bR> <div> They pushed through the crowd to the pool table, stopping a few feet a way to observe the Delaney Twins playing a heated game of 8-ball with an unruly hologram. The hologram was yelling at the top of his lungs accusing Megan of cheating. He looked like a cross between Charlie Manson and Pee-Wee Herman--evil marble-like eyes glued to a small head with a Praying Mantis body. While Megan kept the hologram preoccupied Jenny appeared to be positioning herself behind the offender ready to crack her pool stick over his head. </div> <bR> <div> “Lovely.” Benz commented on the scene. “Classy gathering, isn't it love? Remind me to cancel the party next time if Rene' or Hickson can't show up to modify the damn program if things start getting out of hand.” Benz rolled his eyes as the hologram crashed down on the pool table scattering pool balls across the floor, the victim of a well executed ambush.</div> <bR> <div> “Definitely.” Barb nodded. “This program needs a little work. The holograms are <I>too </I>real, if you know what I mean. I think I saw one relieving himself in the corner next to the stage.”</div> <bR> <div> “That's disgusting! Hickson's a sick man.” Benz shook his head.</div> <bR> <div> “Oh well, live and learn.” Barb sighed. “Disco night next time?”</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> ****</div> <bR> <div> “If you will excuse me Captain.” <I>Maxwell should be here any minute</I>. Seven didn't want to be here when she showed up.  “I am sure I'm not the one you came here to see.”</div> <bR> <div> “Actually Seven, you're wrong. I came here to see you. There's something I need talk to you about. It's important. Well, <I>I </I>think it's important.” Kathryn fought to keep her tone from sounding commanding. The last thing she wanted to do was project her  `Captain' persona at Seven. </div> <bR> <div> “Could this discussion wait until another time, Captain?” Seven could barely contain her curiosity but fought against staying.</div> <bR> <div> “I-- would you like to come back to my quarters? I rather not discuss it here. If you don't mind.” The Captain smiled. A smile that Seven had never seen before, it was shy, nervous; so unlike the confident, authoritative Captain.</div> <bR> <div> Seven considered what to do. <I>What could be so “ important?” Does she want to tell me about Lt. Maxwell in private to save herself from the possibly of a public confrontation later?</I></div> <bR> <div> Receiving the official bad news that the Captain had chosen Maxwell could certainly wait until tomorrow. She was ready to decline the Captain's offer. Kathryn must have sensed what her response would be;<I> </I>a hint of disappointment replaced the Captain's smile. Seven couldn't help but relent. The need to please Kathryn outweighed her better judgment. Seven decided she would use the opportunity to inform the Captain that the behavior the Captain had exhibited recently was less than honorable. “I will accept your invitation. I have some things to say to you as well.”</div> <bR> <div> That's sounds ominous but I can't blame her. I just hope I haven't hurt her so much that she can't forgive me.  “Fair enough, I only ask one thing of you. That you let me say what I have to tell you first.”</div> <bR> <div> “That depends.” </div> <bR> <div> “It depends, on what??”</div> <bR> <div> “It depends on, whether I want to finish listening to what you have to say.”</div> <bR> <div> “Alright.” the Captain conceded with a smile.  <I>At least she's still interested enough to come with me. Well, I do like my women with a little fire in them, don't I?</I></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> ***</div> <bR> <div> The hall outside the Holodeck door was mostly empty as the Captain and Seven made their way to the turbolift. A few people were leaning on the walls or sitting on the floor, trying to collect themselves before going back to their quarters. The sobering process was in full swing. They fumbled though their pockets looking for antidote patches to attach to their necks or a hypo to inject into an arm. The antidotes' effects were instantaneous; as each person's head cleared they helped someone else regained their composure. The little group didn't want to go back to the party because it was late and even though they wouldn't admit it even to themselves the party had worn them out. Most of them would work the dayshift tomorrow but they didn't want the night to end yet. As they sobered up, they huddled together in a tight knot near the Holodeck door, laughing and recounting the festivities. </div> <bR> <div> <I>It was the absolute best party!</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Hate to say it but, the holograms were a little too wild for me. </I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Shame Rene' couldn't come. </I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Did you see Megan crawling around on the floor looking for pool balls? Oh, shit! Was she wasted or what?</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>That bartender was hot, think Hickson will let me borrow him for my birthday party next month?</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>“It ain't me babe, nah, nah, nah”..Bob Dylan, he's so groovy.</I> </div> <bR> <div> <I>“If you really love me, c'mon and let it show.” </I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Rene' and Hicks find the best music! How do they do it? </I> </div> <bR> <div> The knot of crewmembers was too self-absorbed to notice that the Captain and Seven had past by them.    </div> <bR> <div> Ensign Harry Kim, sax in tow, stepped out of the turbolift as Kathryn and Seven waited to enter.</div> <bR> <div> He seemed flabbergasted to see them. “Uh…Good evening Captain… Seven,” he managed to choked out. “Is… the party still…?” He motioned his sax towards the holodeck door, “Do you know if it's still going on?”</div> <bR> <div> “Yes, I suppose you could say that.” Kathryn chuckled, then she realized Harry's intention. “Harry, you aren't going in <I>there,</I> are you?” </div> <bR> <div> Harry caught the concern in the Captain's voice and it irked him. It took him a moment to answer. He admired and liked the Captain very much but hated the way she and <I>especially</I> Commander Chakotay, made it their personal duty to <I>protect </I>him.  They expected him to be a choirboy. He was the one they took for granted to say the right thing, do the right thing, be <I>nice</I>. Frankly, he was tired of it! What would the Captain and Chakotay think if they knew some of the things he wanted to do?  They wouldn't think he was such an angel then.  </div> <bR> <div> And of course professionally, he always did what the Captain and Commander Chakotay expected but people like Rene' and Hickson who <I>never</I> did, are now lieutenants and he was <I>still </I>an ensign. He didn't think <I>that</I> was fair. He wanted to be a Captain one day, so badly it consumed him. The way his fortunes looked right now, he was going nowhere fast.</div> <bR> <div> Harry swallowed hard then said cautiously, “Well… yes, Captain, I'd planned on checking the party out, <I>if</I> you think it's OK, that is.” </div> <bR> <div> <I>Damn it!</I> He wanted to kill himself immediately after asking her permission. <I>Why did I have to go and do that?! This is my time off and she's not my mother, anyway!</I> </div> <bR> <div> He sighed, disgusted with himself. Even in regards to his personnel life he felt compelled to seek out the Captain's, Tom's, Chakotay's approval. <I>No wonder she treats you like a kid.</I></div> <bR> <div> Kathryn didn't think the party was the place for a nice, naïve young person like Harry to be but he <I>was</I> an adult. “I wouldn't recommend it for you, there's heavy drinking in there, drugs, loud <I>suggestive</I> music, not your cup of tea, <I>but </I>it's your choice.”</div> <bR> <div> “I-- might check it out for just a… minute.” he smiled shyly. “Did you happen to see Lt. Maxwell in there?” </div> <bR> <div> Seven shot him an <I>et tu Brutus</I> look. <I>Now Harry wants to speak to Maxwell</I>. <I>The whole ship must be enthralled.   </I>“Lt. Maxwell was not at the party, <I>fortunately</I>.” Seven answered, not bothering to be diplomatic. She moved past him and entered the turbolift.</div> <bR> <div> Harry didn't notice Seven's obvious irritation.  </div> <bR> <div> “Oh,” he sighed.  If he'd been smarter he would have checked to find out where she was before coming down here. The only reason he decided to come to the party was to see her, <I>without </I>her ever-present pit bull Lt. Hickson. </div> <bR> <div> Harry wasn't the type to express his emotions openly but Kathryn knew him well enough to spot the dejected look he tried to hide. <I>Rene', I hope you haven't been toying with him. We're going to have a little talk about this. </I></div> <bR> <div> “She planned on joining the party later, Harry.” The Captain said gently.<I> </I></div> <bR> <div> Harry brightened. “Really? Then it's worth me hanging around a while. Thank you Captain. Good night. Good night, Seven”, he called out to her as he headed for the holodeck door. </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> ***</div> <bR> <div> As they rode the turbolift up to the 3rd floor, Kathryn thought she'd lighten Seven's mood by talking about one of Seven's new past times. </div> <bR> <div> “Seven, I ran into Neelix earlier today and he told me, he especially enjoyed the kal-toh game you played with him this morning.”</div> <bR> <div> The mention of the kal-toh game put Seven on alert. The last game they played was one of the <I>few </I>games that Neelix was victorious.  She suspected that he would be tempted to place an undue significance on this particular game and couldn't resist the compulsion to brag to anyone who would listen that he had won. It was a trait she found distasteful. The Captain was the second person today to tell her how much Neelix had “enjoyed” this particular game. </div> <bR> <div> “ I'm <I>sure</I> Neelix mentioned that he <I>won</I> the game.” Seven probed.</div> <bR> <div> “Yes, I think he may have mention that.” The Captain recalled the conversation,  “He seemed quite pleased with himself.” Kathryn tried to suppress a grin thinking about how happy he was about winning the game.</div> <bR> <div> Seven decided to set the record straight. “I have played a total of 15 kal-toh games with Neelix. He has won only 2. His win/loss ratio is dismal. In my opinion, he has nothing to be particularly pleased about. Competing with him is not a challenge and I would not have lost, if I had not been distracted by….” Seven caught herself before confessing that thoughts of Kathryn during the game had kept her from concentrating and handed Neelix an undeserved win. </div> <bR> <div> “Distracted by?” The Captain was intrigued. <I>Seven is so disciplined.</I> <I>What could it have been?</I> </div> <bR> <div> She fought the urge to tell Kathryn the reason and focused on Neelix's lack of kal-toh skills. “As I was explaining… Neelix is a poor opponent. His strategies are inconsistent and two-dimensional. I prefer to play with Naomi Wildman. She is a novice at kal-toh but a superior player to Neelix. Unfortunately she will need many hours of practice to achieve my competitive level.”</div> <bR> <div> The Captain reflected for couple of seconds then suggested, “Here's an idea…There are probably more people who would like to play kal-toh with you besides Naomi and Neelix. Why don't you ask Neelix to use the ship's newsletter to setup a tournament. People with comparable skills could play each other.  Then you, Neelix and Naomi could find suitable players.” </div> <bR> <div> Not only would it fun for Seven but Kathryn reasoned it's an excellent way for Seven to get to know some of the other crewmembers. Seven tended to only associate with the small cluster of officers Kathryn <I>publicly </I>associated with--The Doc, B'Elanna, Tom, Harry, occasionally Chakotay, Tuvok--and of course Neelix. At this point in Seven's social development Kathryn thought Seven was ready to toss aside the comfort and familiarity of this social clique and try to make some friends of her own.</div> <bR> <div> The proposal tapped into Seven's competitive nature and her wish to play against a worthy adversary, <I>for a change</I>. “Your idea is appealing. I will discuss it with Neelix, tomorrow.” She smiled at the Captain, marveling at how easily Kathryn came up with just the right course of action. </div> <bR> <div> “Of course, I'd want you to give me some private lessons, so that I can be a suitable partner---I mean---<I>player</I>-- for you.” <I>No, I wasn't thinking about kal-toh. What a Freudian Slip! Did she notice??</I></div> <bR> <div> Seven gave her demure smile. </div> <bR> <div> They entered the Captain's quarters. Seven always enjoyed being here. Everything in the room reflected a part of Kathryn's personality. Her first few visits she would pick up an object or simply glance at it and the Captain would tell her about it's significance in her life. She didn't have a room of her own because of her dependency on her Borg Alcove; even so, she had no aspiration to have one. If she ever wanted to live in a room on Voyager, this room would be it. She took a place on the couch near a portal and waited for the Captain to join her.</div> <bR> <div> “Would you like something?” The Captain seemed more at ease now that they were alone, here in her element, but she was not completely at ease. She didn't want to sit down just yet.  “Do you need a supplement, or anything else…” </div> <bR> <div> She was apparently delaying their talk. This talk that was suppose to be so important. </div> <bR> <div> “That will not be necessary I had one earlier today…Thank you.”</div> <bR> <div>  It was hard sometimes for Seven to remember to add these frivolous, “Thank you” acknowledgements to offers for food or services. It was a pet peeve with hers, but something she acquiesced to. Each time she did it a little voice in her Borg mentality told her how trivial it was. Shouldn't the `thank you' be understood? Why did people need that constant reassurance that you appreciated their efforts? But The Doctor said people were bound to like you if you said these things. She really didn't care if <I>people</I> liked her. She just wanted Kathryn to <I>like</I> her. Actually she wanted so much more than that from Kathryn. </div> <bR> <div> The Captain sat down next to her. As usual, she had a cup of coffee with her, which she placed on the table in front of her.</div> <bR> <div> “I don't know exactly how I should begin? No matter how I explain it I'm going to sound---” Kathryn composed her thoughts then continued.  “This isn't going to be easy for me, Seven. I'm not use to explaining my motives. I suppose I don't have to explain my actions to anyone because of what I am, and then that spills over into my…private life, sometimes, which doesn't make me the best person to be involved with. This is something you'll need to know if…you want to… I'm getting ahead of myself.” Kathryn paused<I>. I hope I don't sound as nervous as I feel. Calm down and just matter of-factly tell her. </I></div> <bR> <div>  “First, I want to apologize to you, for treating you the way I did.  I know what I said and did was wrong. I knew it was wrong while I was doing it… but I thought I was protecting both of us by not encouraging you to spend more time with me or-- ”</div> <bR> <div> “Protecting me? How could staying away from me benefit either of us?” Seven couldn't believe this. </div> <bR> <div> “It sounds ridiculous <I>even to </I>me right now, but there was some rationale behind it.  I was having a hard time keeping our relationship from become something deeper, closer, and I didn't think it was appropriate. Starfleet has strong admonishments for Captains who participate in that type of behavior with crewmembers. Their position is that these <I>personal</I> relationships are potentially detrimental to the crewmember, the crew and the Captain. Their reasoning is transparent.  I happen to agree with it, <I>in theory</I>.” The Captain could see that Seven wanted to protest but was waiting for her to finish.</div> <div> “Once, despite my better judgment, I became… I fell in love… with a crewmember that served under me. I acted on my feelings and the outcome wasn't good for either of us. In hindsight, I should have been stronger and not let it happen but it's hard to rein in ones emotions once the pieces are set in motion. I wanted to learn from my mistake and not become involved with another crewmember again.  I didn't want to let the friendship between us become anything more.” </div> <div> “It was Lt. Maxwell?” Seven knew the answer but wanted the Captain to admit it.</div> <bR> <div> “Yes. It happened long before you came on Voyager and ended long before as well. We remained friends afterwards as you can see.” <I>So, it's all out in the open, now.</I> Kathryn felt relieved to be able to talk about it with…the woman she now loved. </div> <bR> <div> “I have observed behavior between the two of you that I would consider more than friendship, <I>especially</I> on your part.” Seven wasn't quite convinced. </div> <bR> <div> “No.” The Captain was adamant. “Rene'..Lt. Maxwell likes to be… sexually provocative, she's always been that way; her antics are harmless. You'll see when you get to know her better. Neither of us is interested in being anything other than friends. We've had plenty of opportunities to resume our romantic relationship before and after I met you.”</div> <bR> <div> “I asked why <I>you </I>were `sexually provocative' with her, in front of me.”</div> <bR> <div> This would be the hardest part of the conversation. Did she really think she'd not have to answer this question? At the risk of sounding like an emotional misfit, she explained, “I wanted to drive you away, make you angry so that you wouldn't want to love me anymore. If I couldn't control my feelings about you, and as hard I tried I couldn't, I thought I could possibly change yours.  Because…It wasn't just the Starfleet policies I was using as an excuse not to be with you.” </div> <bR> <div> Kathryn took a sip of her coffee.<I> I wish I didn't have to tell her the other reason, but she needs know, before she decides. </I>She put the coffee cup down and looked into Seven's eyes. The love and concern in those clear blue eyes encouraged Kathryn to continue. </div> <bR> <div> “I really didn't think I had what it takes to be a good lover to you, the type of lover you deserved. The majority of my relationships have been with men. I've only loved two women before I met you. Both relationships ended badly. Both times I felt hurt, disappointed, guilty. I felt I should have, and could have done more to save those relationships. Did my relationships with women fail because I have some unconscious bias against loving women? I needed to evaluate my feelings and make sure the answer to that question was no. I'm <I>sure </I>the answer is no,” she said with certainty. “Being sexually involved with women was by far more fulfilling to me than being with men. But in my heart of hearts, I knew it wasn't just the sex. The relationships I had with women satisfied me emotionally as well.  I loved and cared about the men I was with; I just wasn't <I>in love</I> with them.”</div> <bR> <div> As Kathryn discussed her romantic past Seven felt a seed of jealousy sprout up but suppressed it. <I>I am not going to think about that now.</I></div> <bR> <div> “Then I fell in love with you, Seven. My feelings were so powerful, I was taken aback by it. I didn't like that I wasn't in control. You have all the qualities I've ever wanted in a lover. I actually thought you were too good to be true. I hoped you would do something brainless, say something preposterous, so I could say to myself, `see, she isn't the one for you' of course you never did.”</div> <bR> <div> Seven was deliriously happy to finally hear that Kathryn actually did love her, but the idea that Kathryn had been critiquing her, analyzing her behavior and actions for flaws was a little disconcerting to say the least, even knowing Kathryn's motives. She expression was priceless-- a mixture of elation and caution. </div> <bR> <div> “I was so happy I could feel this way about someone again yet---so afraid of exposing myself considering my dismal relationship history. What if we became lovers and it didn't work. I didn't want to deal with that pain again. I wasn't sure I wanted to take another chance at love. <I>But I'm sure now</I>.” She stared at her coffee not wanting to see Seven's reaction, waiting for Seven to speak. Were the revelations and declarations of love too little, too late? <I>I wouldn't blame the girl if she decided I was a nutcase and ran out of here screaming.</I> </div> <bR> <div> Admitting that she had been afraid was a hard thing for Kathryn to do. Letting Seven know all her insecurities and failings, was even harder. </div> <bR> <div> What could Seven say? She never dreamed the Captain could be afraid of anything, especially something so beautiful as the love between them. She didn't require that the Captain to be perfect-her only desire was that the Captain love her. She would show Kathryn there was nothing to fear.</div> <bR> <div> Seven took the Captain's hand and said what she'd been yearning to say for what seemed like an eternity, “You are the only thing that makes being away from the collective bearable. I love you Kathryn. I always will.”</div> <bR> <div> The relief Kathryn felt hearing that Seven loved her too and was willing to forgive her danced across her face. “I'm the luckiest woman in the world,” Kathryn beamed. </div> <bR> <div> “Will you stay with me, tonight? We can talk or do whatever you'd like. You could teach me kal toh, if you're in the mood.”  <I>I want to ravish you right now, but I can control myself, if I have to</I>. <I>I so hope I won't have to control myself. </I></div> <bR> <div> “Kathryn, I will spend this evening with you-I want to spend all my evenings with you.” Seven was amused at the thought she'd need to ask.</div> <bR> <div> “Yes, of course….that was a silly question.” The Captain smiled ruefully.</div> <bR> <div> “I hope you won't be disappointed if we postpone kal toh.” Seven searched for the right phasing for<I> </I>what she'd rather do. None of the words that she knew seemed adequate to express the longing she felt.  “Kathryn, I want us to complete each other.”</div> <bR> <div> The Captain surrounded Seven in her arms and gently kissed her. Slowly, tentatively at first then harder as Seven responded by opening her mouth to let Kathryn flick her tongue tantalizingly along the roof of her mouth. The kiss alone was exquisite, far beyond anything Seven had read or imagined. Feeling Kathryn move against her, their breasts pressed tightly together was ecstasy. Seven moaned softly as the Captain drew Seven's tongue into her mouth encouraging her to explore. Seven felt a warmth between her legs start to spread down her thighs and upwards to her breasts, it flowed out of her and through her. Seven's body screamed for Kathryn to possess her. Kathryn then whispered in her ear. “Come with me.”</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div>  <center> <script language=Javascript> scr=screen.width+"x"+screen.height; col=screen.colordepth; ref=escape(top.document.referrer); document.write("<a href=\"http://www.rightstats.com/cgi-bin/"); document.write("ltoad.asp?sid=18140\" target=_top >"); document.write("<img name=sid src=\"http://www.rightstats.com/cgi-bin/logg.asp"); document.write("?sid=18140&scr="+scr+"&col="+col+"&refer="+ref+"\""); document.write("border=0 height=60 width=468 ></a><br>"); </script></center>  </div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>